Monday, June 14, 2010

Study: Most People Lying About Their Facebook Hobbies

A new study by the Institute of Going a Bit Red In Helsinki has shown that many people are lying about their interests and hobbies on their Facebook pages, for various reasons.

Dr. Carl Gruber, the director and administrator of the study, followed several twenty- to twenty-five year olds for a period of roughly a month to see if they actually enjoyed windsurfing, gardening, writing music, "pwning", and reading.

The findings showed that the subjects, when face-to-face with actual human beings in actual social situations, did not mention their alleged interests even once. Even more startlingly, the subjects chose to speak about nothing but Facebook and Twitter.

"I feel that this data represents a paradigm shift in the basic way in which people interact with each other," said Gruber. "It has become commonplace to lie about one's hobbies since time immemorial, but most people have been consistent with their lies up until now. There is no longer any continuity in lying shamefacedly."

The public remains skeptical about the meaning of the study. "What's a 'study'?" asked one of the subjects. Other participants, when asked their opinions, were similarly confused. "Would you mind not talking to me? I can't talk and tweet at the same time," said Lea Tard, 22, as she rolled her eyes.

"Nobody looks at that stuff anyway," reported one alert participant. "It's just to make yourself feel better about wasting time online. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a book group to attend. Nah, just kidding: my college buddy just posted some pics of us from last year's road trip."

Dr. Gruber is planning a new study regarding the behaviors of the "older" Facebook crowd. He hopes that this study will get him some "tail."

...It's probably true.

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